I commuted home from Basingstoke to Bristol for the last time yesterday evening.
As the sun streamed in the carriage and caused my face to reflect back at me in the window, I pondered on the journey of the last five years of employment.
I hoped that being applauded as I left the office was a sign that I had made some difference to the people who I worked with for so many days.
I was grateful for being able to hear. To enjoy the music that filled my ears from my Sony Walkman Mp3 player, to enjoy the kind words said to me by colleagues as I said my goodbye. I can hear such positives,but would I chose to truly listen to their words on days when the black dog rears his ugly head?
I wondered what the major factors in causing the additional lines and grey hairs that now litter my profile would be. The divorce? The youth work? The extra hours put in at the office? The travel?
I was grateful for my sight that has enabled me to read extensively on the long hours of travel. The eyes that were privileged to see beautiful sunrises and striking sunsets as the train carried me back to the West Country.
I smiled at the ongoing revelation that my life is soundtracked by the symphony of God's grace. Five years ago I took the job because I was at rock bottom and had to start from scratch. This time, I am starting not just a new job, but a new life as a husband once again.
Grace truly does outlive our regrets.
So now I stand outside my comfort zone again. As I listened to Nizlopi's new album Make It Happen, the lead single said it all:
We can start beginning.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Dressed Up Like A Car Crash (Nearly)
Feel the need to express my relief at a brush with death on here today.
I was crossing the road near my house when a car jumped a red light and went straight through the crossing that I was walking on.
It was strange to feel like I had just avoided some major injury, although I was listening to my MP3 player so the first I knew of it was when I heard an engine coming towards me that shouldn't have been. It wasn't like I saw it all and had to see life flash before my eyes.
After the relief subsided, I had a moment that revealed what a music snob I am.
'At least I was listening to something amazing' was my thought. Not quite sure where the idea that listening to a great song makes being hit by a car any better, but then my mind works in strange ways sometimes.
The track in question was 'City of Blinding Lights' by U2.
Time for a slightly morbid discussion perhaps.
Music to have a brush with death to?
I was crossing the road near my house when a car jumped a red light and went straight through the crossing that I was walking on.
It was strange to feel like I had just avoided some major injury, although I was listening to my MP3 player so the first I knew of it was when I heard an engine coming towards me that shouldn't have been. It wasn't like I saw it all and had to see life flash before my eyes.
After the relief subsided, I had a moment that revealed what a music snob I am.
'At least I was listening to something amazing' was my thought. Not quite sure where the idea that listening to a great song makes being hit by a car any better, but then my mind works in strange ways sometimes.
The track in question was 'City of Blinding Lights' by U2.
Time for a slightly morbid discussion perhaps.
Music to have a brush with death to?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Times Like These
Just to prove that I've been working on some other articles and youthwork session that may or may not end up being published this year, thought I'd share one with you that didn't make the cut. It's my attempt at rock journalism, and I guess the fact it's here and not in a magazine shows it's not very good.
Foo Fighters fans might like it though.
Your sixth album receives almost universal acclaim from reviews by the most influential music critics around.
On its release, the album goes straight into the UK album charts at number one.
A successful UK arena tour is completed in support of the album’s release.
Two dates at Wembley Stadium in June 2008 sell out within hours of going on sale.
And that’s just in the UK. Imagine that scenario repeated in many other countries across the world.
Welcome to the world of Foo Fighters.
With such success currently being enjoyed, you would hardly be surprised if the band started off down the well worn path of rock ‘n’ roll related debauchery as a way of toasting their success. However, perhaps what is more surprising is that Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace avoids this formulaic approach and is a more mature offering, covering topics that you might not have thought you would have heard one of the world’s biggest bands discussing.
The album itself fuses together both the full on electric and subtler acoustic sides of the band, in contrast to previous double album In Your Honor, where each approach was dedicated a single disc each. The result is a more cohesive and accessible album altogether. The stadium-sized sound of the album with its brash, mosh-pit-excitement-inducing riffs and anthemic choruses is destined to remain on repeat on many an iPod playlist.
Dave Grohl is lauded as ‘the nicest guy in rock’ in pretty much any interview you come across, and no-one disputes his credentials as the frontman of a band rapidly becoming one of the biggest in the world. However, few have yet to recognise Grohl as a songwriter of any merit. This should change on the back of this latest release, featuring some of the most accomplished songwriting of his career so far. A close look reveals his lyrics are showing a depth and insight that go beyond more traditional and clichéd rock topics. By the time third track Statues finishes, the quiet chorus We’re just ordinary people/you and me/time will turn us into statues/eventually will have you pondering on whether Grohl has borrowed from the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes at some point in the writing process. Surely a band at the height of their commercial powers should not be showing they aware that for all the rock star success they enjoy, they remain acutely aware of their own mortality and they are at the end of the day, just ordinary people.
The Pretender provides the customary high octane opening to the album and sees issues of identity tackled in the midst of the power chord frenzy that kicks in after thirty seconds. Grohl calls out an unspecified protagonist, snarling what if I say I’m not like the others/ What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays/You're the pretender before concluding with the question so who are you? Regardless of what provided the inspiration for the song, there is no doubt that this song will be adopted as a rallying cry for a new generation of teenage Foo devotees struggling against the pressures of conformity. If Dave Grohl says it’s OK to be different as long as you aren’t just another pretender, who is to argue?
The second single Long Road To Ruin contains lyrics that appear opposed to its positive melody with Grohl singing Oh God I’ve sealed my fate/running through hell/heaven can wait/long road to ruin. Whereas Foo Fighters cannot be described as a band known for their tee-total ways, it is interesting to see the concept of running through hell being equated to a place of ruin, not the promised land as AC/DC famously declared in their track Highway To Hell. Tellingly, Grohl reaches the conclusion that there is no exit from the long road to ruin, and the track ends no tomorrow/no dead end in sight.
Immediately after Long Road To Ruin comes the epic Come Alive, with the proximity of the two tracks and their similar subject matters undoubtedly being a deliberate move by the band. Come Alive is a darker, less radio friendly track than it’s preceding piece and sees Grohl recounting dark times Desperate and meaningless/All filled up with emptiness/Felt like everything/ Was said and done/I lay there in the dark/And I closed my eyes. Tellingly, and in contrast to the end of …Ruin, out of this situation there was a rescue, leaving Grohl to declare You saved me the day You came alive. More than just being a survivor who was rescued, the climax of the song sees Grohl employing his trademark scream to tell of the difference made to his life following his rescue Nothing wrong to give/I can finally live/Come alive/You're laughing at me/I can finally breathe/ Come alive. Many of the concepts in these lyrics would not be frowned upon in Christian worship songs, and it is interesting to see Grohl utilising such themes to tell the story of a personal redemption.
The album closes with Home, a piano led ballad that could easily be mistaken for circa 1970’s Elton John. The track arguably contains some of the most personal lyrics yet heard on a Foo Fighters track with Grohl showing he is unafraid to rebel against the rock stereotype and admit that he would love to be at home with his family rather than on the tourbus. I wish I were with you, I couldn't stay/Every direction leads me away/Pray for tomorrow, but for today/ All I want is to be home. The lyrics contain further lines loaded with spiritual significance as Grohl makes his case for what he considers most important to him. Echoes and silence, patience and grace/All of these moments I'll never replace/Fear of my heart, absence of faith/All I want is to be home. Not only do we see the concepts of grace and faith as topics on his mind, but we also see a return to the existential worry first shown in Statues, as he realises the importance of needing to grasp the irreplaceable nature of significant moments in life. Additionally, in a culture that is quick to pursue the glory of the jet setting celebrity lifestyle, the honesty of a track like Home is truly unique and refreshing. It is especially poignant when you consider that this album is likely to be the one that takes Grohl and his bandmates further from home on tours to far flung countries than ever before. I doubt any other rock album released in this or any other year will conclude with a line akin to All I want is to be home.
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace is the band’s finest collection of songs to date, and sees Foo Fighters continuing to produce rock music which is brash and exciting but also showing an honest lyrical heart pinned firmly to the album’s sleeve.
More than just being an exciting listen, the content of Dave Grohl’s lyrics show he has an awareness of spiritual and religious concepts around him. For those of us who work with teenagers, there is a chance to discuss the lyrics of one of the biggest selling rock acts of this generation and the themes of faith, identity, family, humility and mortality that appear within the songs. And for the rest of us, a listen to the album and a study of the lyrics will stand you in good stead should you ever find yourself trapped in a lift with Dave Grohl and needing to strike up conversation. Having said that, he’s apparently the nicest guy in rock, so is unlikely to stand around chatting. He’d probably be working to rescue you from the lift.
Foo Fighters fans might like it though.
Your sixth album receives almost universal acclaim from reviews by the most influential music critics around.
On its release, the album goes straight into the UK album charts at number one.
A successful UK arena tour is completed in support of the album’s release.
Two dates at Wembley Stadium in June 2008 sell out within hours of going on sale.
And that’s just in the UK. Imagine that scenario repeated in many other countries across the world.
Welcome to the world of Foo Fighters.
With such success currently being enjoyed, you would hardly be surprised if the band started off down the well worn path of rock ‘n’ roll related debauchery as a way of toasting their success. However, perhaps what is more surprising is that Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace avoids this formulaic approach and is a more mature offering, covering topics that you might not have thought you would have heard one of the world’s biggest bands discussing.
The album itself fuses together both the full on electric and subtler acoustic sides of the band, in contrast to previous double album In Your Honor, where each approach was dedicated a single disc each. The result is a more cohesive and accessible album altogether. The stadium-sized sound of the album with its brash, mosh-pit-excitement-inducing riffs and anthemic choruses is destined to remain on repeat on many an iPod playlist.
Dave Grohl is lauded as ‘the nicest guy in rock’ in pretty much any interview you come across, and no-one disputes his credentials as the frontman of a band rapidly becoming one of the biggest in the world. However, few have yet to recognise Grohl as a songwriter of any merit. This should change on the back of this latest release, featuring some of the most accomplished songwriting of his career so far. A close look reveals his lyrics are showing a depth and insight that go beyond more traditional and clichéd rock topics. By the time third track Statues finishes, the quiet chorus We’re just ordinary people/you and me/time will turn us into statues/eventually will have you pondering on whether Grohl has borrowed from the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes at some point in the writing process. Surely a band at the height of their commercial powers should not be showing they aware that for all the rock star success they enjoy, they remain acutely aware of their own mortality and they are at the end of the day, just ordinary people.
The Pretender provides the customary high octane opening to the album and sees issues of identity tackled in the midst of the power chord frenzy that kicks in after thirty seconds. Grohl calls out an unspecified protagonist, snarling what if I say I’m not like the others/ What if I say I'm not just another one of your plays/You're the pretender before concluding with the question so who are you? Regardless of what provided the inspiration for the song, there is no doubt that this song will be adopted as a rallying cry for a new generation of teenage Foo devotees struggling against the pressures of conformity. If Dave Grohl says it’s OK to be different as long as you aren’t just another pretender, who is to argue?
The second single Long Road To Ruin contains lyrics that appear opposed to its positive melody with Grohl singing Oh God I’ve sealed my fate/running through hell/heaven can wait/long road to ruin. Whereas Foo Fighters cannot be described as a band known for their tee-total ways, it is interesting to see the concept of running through hell being equated to a place of ruin, not the promised land as AC/DC famously declared in their track Highway To Hell. Tellingly, Grohl reaches the conclusion that there is no exit from the long road to ruin, and the track ends no tomorrow/no dead end in sight.
Immediately after Long Road To Ruin comes the epic Come Alive, with the proximity of the two tracks and their similar subject matters undoubtedly being a deliberate move by the band. Come Alive is a darker, less radio friendly track than it’s preceding piece and sees Grohl recounting dark times Desperate and meaningless/All filled up with emptiness/Felt like everything/ Was said and done/I lay there in the dark/And I closed my eyes. Tellingly, and in contrast to the end of …Ruin, out of this situation there was a rescue, leaving Grohl to declare You saved me the day You came alive. More than just being a survivor who was rescued, the climax of the song sees Grohl employing his trademark scream to tell of the difference made to his life following his rescue Nothing wrong to give/I can finally live/Come alive/You're laughing at me/I can finally breathe/ Come alive. Many of the concepts in these lyrics would not be frowned upon in Christian worship songs, and it is interesting to see Grohl utilising such themes to tell the story of a personal redemption.
The album closes with Home, a piano led ballad that could easily be mistaken for circa 1970’s Elton John. The track arguably contains some of the most personal lyrics yet heard on a Foo Fighters track with Grohl showing he is unafraid to rebel against the rock stereotype and admit that he would love to be at home with his family rather than on the tourbus. I wish I were with you, I couldn't stay/Every direction leads me away/Pray for tomorrow, but for today/ All I want is to be home. The lyrics contain further lines loaded with spiritual significance as Grohl makes his case for what he considers most important to him. Echoes and silence, patience and grace/All of these moments I'll never replace/Fear of my heart, absence of faith/All I want is to be home. Not only do we see the concepts of grace and faith as topics on his mind, but we also see a return to the existential worry first shown in Statues, as he realises the importance of needing to grasp the irreplaceable nature of significant moments in life. Additionally, in a culture that is quick to pursue the glory of the jet setting celebrity lifestyle, the honesty of a track like Home is truly unique and refreshing. It is especially poignant when you consider that this album is likely to be the one that takes Grohl and his bandmates further from home on tours to far flung countries than ever before. I doubt any other rock album released in this or any other year will conclude with a line akin to All I want is to be home.
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace is the band’s finest collection of songs to date, and sees Foo Fighters continuing to produce rock music which is brash and exciting but also showing an honest lyrical heart pinned firmly to the album’s sleeve.
More than just being an exciting listen, the content of Dave Grohl’s lyrics show he has an awareness of spiritual and religious concepts around him. For those of us who work with teenagers, there is a chance to discuss the lyrics of one of the biggest selling rock acts of this generation and the themes of faith, identity, family, humility and mortality that appear within the songs. And for the rest of us, a listen to the album and a study of the lyrics will stand you in good stead should you ever find yourself trapped in a lift with Dave Grohl and needing to strike up conversation. Having said that, he’s apparently the nicest guy in rock, so is unlikely to stand around chatting. He’d probably be working to rescue you from the lift.
Friday, November 16, 2007
dis·ci·ple
Trying to put together a discussion for homegroup on Tuesday.
The theme is discipleship. It's a word I hear a lot, so I decide to check the specific dictionary definition of the word.
Here's what I found:
dis-ci-ple (n)
a. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.
b. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy.
Which has kind of stopped me in my tracks.
I can't talk about being a disciple.
I'm not a very good one.
The theme is discipleship. It's a word I hear a lot, so I decide to check the specific dictionary definition of the word.
Here's what I found:
dis-ci-ple (n)
a. One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another.
b. An active adherent, as of a movement or philosophy.
Which has kind of stopped me in my tracks.
I can't talk about being a disciple.
I'm not a very good one.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Of Things Light And Aligning
You shine on us.
You align us.
Not sure where this little couplet has appeared from in my head over the last couple of days. Usually when something inspired appears to me from nowhere, it turns out that someone had mentioned it a while back and it has only just filtered through to the front of my brain.
I've Google searched it to see if it's a song lyric or a quote, but no-one is owning up to it.
But I'm using it as a prayer, wherever it has emerged from.
I don't just want to be someone who is aware of God's light shining. I want to get aligned to the source of that light, so I become more like Him. It must be the case that the more aligned with God's light I am, the more effective a light and pointer to the greatest light I might be able to be for those around me.
I can't be a light independent of the source, although I'm acutely and painfully aware that this is often the case.
Sometimes it feels that I always have to relearn the same lessons. I want to not just appreciate the light, but be aligned to it. In a meaningful way.
You align us.
Not sure where this little couplet has appeared from in my head over the last couple of days. Usually when something inspired appears to me from nowhere, it turns out that someone had mentioned it a while back and it has only just filtered through to the front of my brain.
I've Google searched it to see if it's a song lyric or a quote, but no-one is owning up to it.
But I'm using it as a prayer, wherever it has emerged from.
I don't just want to be someone who is aware of God's light shining. I want to get aligned to the source of that light, so I become more like Him. It must be the case that the more aligned with God's light I am, the more effective a light and pointer to the greatest light I might be able to be for those around me.
I can't be a light independent of the source, although I'm acutely and painfully aware that this is often the case.
Sometimes it feels that I always have to relearn the same lessons. I want to not just appreciate the light, but be aligned to it. In a meaningful way.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Travelling Into Daybreak
Having the time to look at the blog a bit today made me realise that the title 'Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult' was a little outdated. It was a reference to when much of my time was spent doing lots of youth work and generally acting like some distant relative of The Boy That Never Grew Up.
But life is seasonal. I don't find myself doing as much youth work now. This season of my life is currently consists of spending lots of hours commuting to my office via train. I thought that in the interests of integrity, this should be reflected in the updated blog title for this current season of my life.
The travelling can prove ardouous, especially as the trains often prove unreliable in my quest to get from Bristol to Basingstoke and back each day.
But even the most mundane parts of life can expose us unwittingly to things which are deeply and prfoundly spiritual.
After walking to the station in the darkness, the train departs whilst the moon and stars are still in their ascendancy. The early part of my journey continues in this unbroken gloom, with my location remaining a mystery until the train reaches the outskirts of the next town where a stop is scheduled. Then, just as I get the bearings of where I am, the train departs and plunges me back into darkness, leaving me speculating once again about my position in the world.
But, without fail, at one unpredictable moment in the journey, the darkness begins to dissolve. The sun appears on the horizon, splintering the pitch black sky and breaking through to dabble the sky with pastel colours of orange and red. Although some areas are still in shadow, there is the assurance that the time of darkness is short, and soon the sun will fully rise.
This moment changes what happens to me on the train. I stir from being slumped next to the window of the train, which is what happens when the darkness reigns and I have nothing to focus my eyes on
And for the rest of the journey, I don't feel lost.
The light of the risen sun reveals to me where I am.
I can focus on where I am going on this new day.
But life is seasonal. I don't find myself doing as much youth work now. This season of my life is currently consists of spending lots of hours commuting to my office via train. I thought that in the interests of integrity, this should be reflected in the updated blog title for this current season of my life.
The travelling can prove ardouous, especially as the trains often prove unreliable in my quest to get from Bristol to Basingstoke and back each day.
But even the most mundane parts of life can expose us unwittingly to things which are deeply and prfoundly spiritual.
After walking to the station in the darkness, the train departs whilst the moon and stars are still in their ascendancy. The early part of my journey continues in this unbroken gloom, with my location remaining a mystery until the train reaches the outskirts of the next town where a stop is scheduled. Then, just as I get the bearings of where I am, the train departs and plunges me back into darkness, leaving me speculating once again about my position in the world.
But, without fail, at one unpredictable moment in the journey, the darkness begins to dissolve. The sun appears on the horizon, splintering the pitch black sky and breaking through to dabble the sky with pastel colours of orange and red. Although some areas are still in shadow, there is the assurance that the time of darkness is short, and soon the sun will fully rise.
This moment changes what happens to me on the train. I stir from being slumped next to the window of the train, which is what happens when the darkness reigns and I have nothing to focus my eyes on
And for the rest of the journey, I don't feel lost.
The light of the risen sun reveals to me where I am.
I can focus on where I am going on this new day.
It's A Race
It's often been said of me that my default setting is to be independent, and those people are probably right.
I'm not trying to be arrogant and say that I can do without any one's help, but most of the time I feel that there are so many things wrong with me as a person that if I didn't have independent tendencies, I'd be someone who caused a real inconvenience to the people around me.
That said, the 10k run that I completed in September taught me a few valuable lessons that I hope I learn from.
I hope that I understand the benefit of being part of a community who are running towards a goal together. To be part of a group with a common cause, and where just finishing the race was the goal. There was no prize for first place. It didn't matter how many other runners I passed, or how many others passed me.
Spiritually, I'm often guilty of treating the race of living life as a Christian as being a competition. That I need to be in first place, recognised and lauded for my performance. And as I'm rarely in first place, I look with envy of those who are doing well in their race. I wonder how much better off I will be as a follower of Jesus if I choose to adopt the same perspective that I managed to grasp during my sponsored run; that I'm running as part of a community. Not trying to emerge from that community as number one.
I hope I understand what it means to be cheered on by a great crowd. I approached the last 500m metres of the course with heavy legs and a burning sensation in my lungs. The community of runners had started to flag and those who had acted as pacemakers to me earlier in the race had fallen behind and I was a good distance away from the nearest other runners. I contemplated stopping running and slowing to a walk. I didn't want to do this-I had challenged myself at the start line to keep running the whole distance, and not resist the urge to slow to a walk. With the pacemakers gone, the temptation returned to the surface.
Until I rounded a corner and began to hear the noise of the supporters on the finish line. Clapping. Cheering. Urging the runners to continue.
Urging me to continue.
I managed to glimpse Rachel's face in the crowd. Clearly I was spurred on by this and determined not to falter and appear weak in her sight. But the others who didn't know me were still cheering, still clapping, still yelling encouragement to me to keep going. And I suddenly found myself not wanting to fail in their sight either.
The writer of the book of Hebrews talks to his readers of being surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and how the presence of these witnesses should act as a catalyst to get rid of everything that is trying to hinder the completion of the race and encourage them to persevere and keep their eyes on the goal. Maybe I understand this concept out of experience more than just theory now.
What I mean to say is a thank you to those who sponsored me and supported me on what was quite a crazy idea in the first place.
Thank you to all of you, seen and unseen, who invite me to be part of a community of followers of Jesus who are running the race of faith together, not in competition. And thanks to those, seen and unseen, who send love and encouragement my way to keep running, even when all my instincts are saying it would be easier to give up.
I hope I keep running.
I'm not trying to be arrogant and say that I can do without any one's help, but most of the time I feel that there are so many things wrong with me as a person that if I didn't have independent tendencies, I'd be someone who caused a real inconvenience to the people around me.
That said, the 10k run that I completed in September taught me a few valuable lessons that I hope I learn from.
I hope that I understand the benefit of being part of a community who are running towards a goal together. To be part of a group with a common cause, and where just finishing the race was the goal. There was no prize for first place. It didn't matter how many other runners I passed, or how many others passed me.
Spiritually, I'm often guilty of treating the race of living life as a Christian as being a competition. That I need to be in first place, recognised and lauded for my performance. And as I'm rarely in first place, I look with envy of those who are doing well in their race. I wonder how much better off I will be as a follower of Jesus if I choose to adopt the same perspective that I managed to grasp during my sponsored run; that I'm running as part of a community. Not trying to emerge from that community as number one.
I hope I understand what it means to be cheered on by a great crowd. I approached the last 500m metres of the course with heavy legs and a burning sensation in my lungs. The community of runners had started to flag and those who had acted as pacemakers to me earlier in the race had fallen behind and I was a good distance away from the nearest other runners. I contemplated stopping running and slowing to a walk. I didn't want to do this-I had challenged myself at the start line to keep running the whole distance, and not resist the urge to slow to a walk. With the pacemakers gone, the temptation returned to the surface.
Until I rounded a corner and began to hear the noise of the supporters on the finish line. Clapping. Cheering. Urging the runners to continue.
Urging me to continue.
I managed to glimpse Rachel's face in the crowd. Clearly I was spurred on by this and determined not to falter and appear weak in her sight. But the others who didn't know me were still cheering, still clapping, still yelling encouragement to me to keep going. And I suddenly found myself not wanting to fail in their sight either.
The writer of the book of Hebrews talks to his readers of being surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and how the presence of these witnesses should act as a catalyst to get rid of everything that is trying to hinder the completion of the race and encourage them to persevere and keep their eyes on the goal. Maybe I understand this concept out of experience more than just theory now.
What I mean to say is a thank you to those who sponsored me and supported me on what was quite a crazy idea in the first place.
Thank you to all of you, seen and unseen, who invite me to be part of a community of followers of Jesus who are running the race of faith together, not in competition. And thanks to those, seen and unseen, who send love and encouragement my way to keep running, even when all my instincts are saying it would be easier to give up.
I hope I keep running.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A Brief History Of Time Away
It appears months, not days have now passed since my last blog. Rather than suddenly try to blog everything that has happened since my last post, I thought a summary of what has kept me away from this page would work better than a list of unfounded excuses as to why I have not kept this blog updated as much as I should have done.
Moves: 1
Have moved from Andover in Hampshire to the city of Bristol.
Life Changing Experiences: 1
Whilst on holiday in France, I asked Rachel to marry me. Thankfully for me, she said yes! We're arranging an April 2008 wedding, which will be requiring a lot of effort to organise.
Long Commutes: 70
I have been getting up at 4.30am each morning to do the two and a half hour each way commute to the office. The absence of a decent laptop battery has caused me to be unable to use the journey time for updating this blog, before you ask why that time has not been put to better use!
Books Read:
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows- JK Rowling
The Year I Got Everything I Wanted- Cameron Conant
Atonement- Ian McEwan
The End of Poverty- Jeffrey Sachs
The Great Divorce- CS Lewis
Mere Christianity- CS Lewis
The Complete Polysyllabic Spree- Nick Hornby
Albums Purchased:
Remedy- David Crowder* Band
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace- Foo Fighters
Man On The Roof- Stephen Fretwell
The World Is Yours- Ian Brown
Once Upon A Time In The West- Hard-Fi
I’ve had some time off this past week, which has meant I have had a chance to relax and reflect on what has been an eventful few months. I thought it would be a good point to blog again, even if it is to point out the things that have happened, the books I have read and the music being listened too at the moment. They will undoubtedly have an influence on what I write and the person I am becoming.
Depending on how good my writing is during these next few months, you may or may not detect the influences of these factors at work in my life in what I enter on this site.
I just didn’t want you to think that I’d been wasting my time.
Moves: 1
Have moved from Andover in Hampshire to the city of Bristol.
Life Changing Experiences: 1
Whilst on holiday in France, I asked Rachel to marry me. Thankfully for me, she said yes! We're arranging an April 2008 wedding, which will be requiring a lot of effort to organise.
Long Commutes: 70
I have been getting up at 4.30am each morning to do the two and a half hour each way commute to the office. The absence of a decent laptop battery has caused me to be unable to use the journey time for updating this blog, before you ask why that time has not been put to better use!
Books Read:
Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows- JK Rowling
The Year I Got Everything I Wanted- Cameron Conant
Atonement- Ian McEwan
The End of Poverty- Jeffrey Sachs
The Great Divorce- CS Lewis
Mere Christianity- CS Lewis
The Complete Polysyllabic Spree- Nick Hornby
Albums Purchased:
Remedy- David Crowder* Band
Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace- Foo Fighters
Man On The Roof- Stephen Fretwell
The World Is Yours- Ian Brown
Once Upon A Time In The West- Hard-Fi
I’ve had some time off this past week, which has meant I have had a chance to relax and reflect on what has been an eventful few months. I thought it would be a good point to blog again, even if it is to point out the things that have happened, the books I have read and the music being listened too at the moment. They will undoubtedly have an influence on what I write and the person I am becoming.
Depending on how good my writing is during these next few months, you may or may not detect the influences of these factors at work in my life in what I enter on this site.
I just didn’t want you to think that I’d been wasting my time.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Recollection
Electrical storms enticed us.
Each flash of lightning encouraging us to take another step towards a higher point, to find the best vantage point that we could.
To experience what, we did not know.
Except that away from the haze of town, going higher took us closer to the source, to bear witness to a force of nature.
Away from the street light led pollution that diluted the impact of every flash that seared across the night sky.
Away from the noise of traffic and people, we could clearly appreciate the orchestra of thunder. Growing as it did from a low rumble into the kind of fearsome crescendo that sends animals for cover and children towards the comforting arms of their parents.
In this place there was just us.
Bono sings if the sky can crack there must be some way back, for love and only love.
I dared to respond to that philosophy as I witnessed the night sky splinter under the influence of another fork of lightning.
I reached out my hand in the hope that you would take mine.
I found that your hand was already extended towards me and willing to be held.
An act of love.
A demonstration of grace.
In that moment I could dare to believe that there could be a way back for me.
That the lost years would be restored.
I felt acutely assured that even though the power of the storms of the evening would subside, in the morning, sunshine would warm my heart again.
Each flash of lightning encouraging us to take another step towards a higher point, to find the best vantage point that we could.
To experience what, we did not know.
Except that away from the haze of town, going higher took us closer to the source, to bear witness to a force of nature.
Away from the street light led pollution that diluted the impact of every flash that seared across the night sky.
Away from the noise of traffic and people, we could clearly appreciate the orchestra of thunder. Growing as it did from a low rumble into the kind of fearsome crescendo that sends animals for cover and children towards the comforting arms of their parents.
In this place there was just us.
Bono sings if the sky can crack there must be some way back, for love and only love.
I dared to respond to that philosophy as I witnessed the night sky splinter under the influence of another fork of lightning.
I reached out my hand in the hope that you would take mine.
I found that your hand was already extended towards me and willing to be held.
An act of love.
A demonstration of grace.
In that moment I could dare to believe that there could be a way back for me.
That the lost years would be restored.
I felt acutely assured that even though the power of the storms of the evening would subside, in the morning, sunshine would warm my heart again.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Curse Of Stuff
I'm not sure if this post comes because I've just started reading 'The Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne and feel convicted about the number of possessions cluttering up my life.
Or whether I'm just weary after packing box after box in preparing to move out of my flat.
But I've aware that 'stuff' hasn't lasted. And 'stuff' has not fulfilled the promise that it seemed to have on first sight.
You know what I mean. The item of clothing that you just had to have. The cool item of furniture that would impress all your friends. That DVD. That CD. Those shoes.
At the time, you wonder how life could ever possibly be fulfilled and doubt that you could ever be happy again without those items.
And today, many of those same items are going into a bin bag to find their future entirely dependant on the tastes of customers in a charity shop at a given moment in time.
Turns out that I can live without them after all.
Just wish I'd realised that at the time.
Or whether I'm just weary after packing box after box in preparing to move out of my flat.
But I've aware that 'stuff' hasn't lasted. And 'stuff' has not fulfilled the promise that it seemed to have on first sight.
You know what I mean. The item of clothing that you just had to have. The cool item of furniture that would impress all your friends. That DVD. That CD. Those shoes.
At the time, you wonder how life could ever possibly be fulfilled and doubt that you could ever be happy again without those items.
And today, many of those same items are going into a bin bag to find their future entirely dependant on the tastes of customers in a charity shop at a given moment in time.
Turns out that I can live without them after all.
Just wish I'd realised that at the time.
Being Indifferent Makes No Difference
Philip Yancey wrote that 'the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference'.
Like most things that he writes, that quotation is both insightful and inspiring. And if understood properly, should make a lot of us feel uncomfortable too.
I don't need to explain to anyone reading this that our world is hurting and there are so many in such dire need of help. Of love.
And yet I find it so very easy to be indifferent. So very convenient.
To leave it to someone else.
To argue 'Yes, I'd like to but I have to go and...'
To look the other way, turn the music up on my iPod and pretend I didn't see.
To say I'm tired.
To find any number of hundreds of other excuses.
And I find myself constantly bemoaning the state of the world whilst remaining completely indifferent to it.
And this means I need to change and make some brutal changes in my life in order to change the things in this world that I don't like. Changes that mean more than just stopping in the street to sign a petition for Amnesty International or to buy a copy of the Big Issue. Changes that put the onus on me to roll my sleeves up, get involved, forget about myself and what I might want.
What am I talking about?
I'm talking about stepping away from indifference and choosing the opposite.
love.
I'll let you know how I get on.
Like most things that he writes, that quotation is both insightful and inspiring. And if understood properly, should make a lot of us feel uncomfortable too.
I don't need to explain to anyone reading this that our world is hurting and there are so many in such dire need of help. Of love.
And yet I find it so very easy to be indifferent. So very convenient.
To leave it to someone else.
To argue 'Yes, I'd like to but I have to go and...'
To look the other way, turn the music up on my iPod and pretend I didn't see.
To say I'm tired.
To find any number of hundreds of other excuses.
And I find myself constantly bemoaning the state of the world whilst remaining completely indifferent to it.
And this means I need to change and make some brutal changes in my life in order to change the things in this world that I don't like. Changes that mean more than just stopping in the street to sign a petition for Amnesty International or to buy a copy of the Big Issue. Changes that put the onus on me to roll my sleeves up, get involved, forget about myself and what I might want.
What am I talking about?
I'm talking about stepping away from indifference and choosing the opposite.
love.
I'll let you know how I get on.
Monday, May 21, 2007
A Shameless Plug
For those non Facebook-ers out there, thought I'd share the most interesting development in my life in the last few hours on here as well!
So, I've signed up to run a 10k 'race' and I'll be doing it to raise money for Cancer Research (I use the word race very, very loosely. Even if there is a prize for finishing first, I'll be nowhere near it!)
I've got a sponsorship page and everything, and if any of you lovely people want to throw some money at it in anticipation of me trying to complete 10k without laughing at the thought of it too much, i'd appreciate it!
The link is here:http://www.10ksponsorme.org/paulnoyce
Cheers!
So, I've signed up to run a 10k 'race' and I'll be doing it to raise money for Cancer Research (I use the word race very, very loosely. Even if there is a prize for finishing first, I'll be nowhere near it!)
I've got a sponsorship page and everything, and if any of you lovely people want to throw some money at it in anticipation of me trying to complete 10k without laughing at the thought of it too much, i'd appreciate it!
The link is here:http://www.10ksponsorme.org/paulnoyce
Cheers!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
What Happened To The Revolution
Things have been a little quiet around here of late.
To be honest, I have not felt like there was anything worth saying.
So, quite a lot of my time has been spent investing in two areas.
Firstly, I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook, trying desperately to define my worth as a human being by trying to rack up as many friends as possible. I'm on 19 at the moment, lame when compared with Rachel's 46 and even more pathetic when compared to my friend Sarah who is somewhere in the region of 260.
As the Christian subculture is a relatively small one, I've come across a couple of friends on Facebook who have amongst their number, some classmates of mine from London Bible College. I've not yet requested for them to be 'friends' with me. It seems hypocritical to call people my friends who might need to be filled in about the last four years of my story. And, to be honest, I still feel nervous around those who are quite clearly investing in making the world a better place. They seem to be living out the dreams and visions we talked of so often over late night hot chocolate and biscuits, whereas I seem to have given this up for feet planted firmly in the middle of the road, not doing anything of lasting impact for the world.
In addition to being sucked in by and feeling on occasion quite lousy because of what this Facebook tomfoolery exposes in me, I've been looking through a selection of half finished notebooks that represent my journals for the past few years. I rarely have the discipline to keep a record of thoughts (which probably explains the infrequent posts of late too), so each renewed effort has a new notebook.
Going back through these books for a few years, I see a clash between the naive idealism of my dreams and thoughts in the late 1990's, and the dark concepts and dreary outlook contained in the journals for 2003 and 2004.
So there's been some laughter at how some things have worked out, some red eyes and tears at the way they haven't and some wake up calls to things which used to burn brightly in me that I have allowed to dwindle dangerously close to extinction and now feel inspired to stoke up once more.
The connection here? It's that I need to take a chance more on community. Change will never take place on the pages of closed notebooks resigned to collect dust on bookshelves.
But it will come if I choose to model the thoughts and passions of my heart to those around me.
And in turn, their passions will influence me, and pretty soon we are connected to a movement and a cause that cannot die out because we are not flying alone but with others.
To be honest, I have not felt like there was anything worth saying.
So, quite a lot of my time has been spent investing in two areas.
Firstly, I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook, trying desperately to define my worth as a human being by trying to rack up as many friends as possible. I'm on 19 at the moment, lame when compared with Rachel's 46 and even more pathetic when compared to my friend Sarah who is somewhere in the region of 260.
As the Christian subculture is a relatively small one, I've come across a couple of friends on Facebook who have amongst their number, some classmates of mine from London Bible College. I've not yet requested for them to be 'friends' with me. It seems hypocritical to call people my friends who might need to be filled in about the last four years of my story. And, to be honest, I still feel nervous around those who are quite clearly investing in making the world a better place. They seem to be living out the dreams and visions we talked of so often over late night hot chocolate and biscuits, whereas I seem to have given this up for feet planted firmly in the middle of the road, not doing anything of lasting impact for the world.
In addition to being sucked in by and feeling on occasion quite lousy because of what this Facebook tomfoolery exposes in me, I've been looking through a selection of half finished notebooks that represent my journals for the past few years. I rarely have the discipline to keep a record of thoughts (which probably explains the infrequent posts of late too), so each renewed effort has a new notebook.
Going back through these books for a few years, I see a clash between the naive idealism of my dreams and thoughts in the late 1990's, and the dark concepts and dreary outlook contained in the journals for 2003 and 2004.
So there's been some laughter at how some things have worked out, some red eyes and tears at the way they haven't and some wake up calls to things which used to burn brightly in me that I have allowed to dwindle dangerously close to extinction and now feel inspired to stoke up once more.
The connection here? It's that I need to take a chance more on community. Change will never take place on the pages of closed notebooks resigned to collect dust on bookshelves.
But it will come if I choose to model the thoughts and passions of my heart to those around me.
And in turn, their passions will influence me, and pretty soon we are connected to a movement and a cause that cannot die out because we are not flying alone but with others.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Lessons In Neighbour-ology
Don't worry about looking up the Oxford definition of neighbour-ology. It's a term that one of my lecturers used to describe the art of taking seriously the challenge of Jesus' parable of the good Samaritan.
It's also a term I had forgotten about until an experience last Monday night where I undertook an unscheduled refresher course.
I was outside the Southampton Guildhall waiting for the doors to open at the Arctic Monkeys gig I was attending. Being sat down made me a target for a guy who shuffled up to me and asked me if I knew was diabetes was.
Upon hearing my positive affirmation, that yes, I did indeed know what diabetes is, the man pulled out a needle box and began to explain that he had to get home as he had argued with his girlfriend and needed to get home to get the required medication. This was where I came in, as the man was requiring my loose change in order to get the bus home and safely get some medication on board.
I backwards bartered with him, providing the £3 required for the bus fare rather than the £1.50 he was prepared to compromise and ask me for. There followed what appeared to be a look of genuine disbelief that he had found someone prepared to help.
So, for about another ten minutes I felt relatively satisfied and mused on the possibility that this act of grace would somehow start this guy on a journey that would lead him to know the author of grace himself.
And then I saw him again.
This time he was talking to some other people in the queue. The needle box was not being employed this time but change was still being handed across by well meaning gig goers.
I looked at him, determined to engage eye contact and make him aware that I knew I had been lied to.
Eye contact was made, he pulled his hat down over his eyes and shuffled off in a different direction.
And that was when I took the refresher course in neighbour-ology.
Martin Luther King Jr once said of the good Samaritan story, two people walked past the injured man and asked 'what will happen to me if I help', whereas the good Samaritan asked 'what will happen to this man if I don't help'.
I'd got that bit right I think. That if I was being told the truth, there was no option but to help.
But my involvement is simply to extend grace to those who are in need. If they then choose to abuse that, I cannot complain. As pointing the finger quickly points three right back at me as a reminder of how often I abuse the grace of God that has been extended to me by not living in gratitude every moment because of that gift.
The temptation is to become cynical and to start to analyse people asking for help. I can start to judge who I deem worthy of help and minimise the risk of my generosity being abused.
Or I can learn from the concept of neighbour-ology as outlined by Jesus' parable. Everyone is my neighbour. It is not an option to chose who will be my neighbour.
Everyone is.
Everyone.
So, the chances are I'll give again to someone who comes up to me with a need and asks me for money to help them. And no doubt again I'll have further experiences where that help is then treated with disdain. But the alternative is that I live for myself only, refusing to see anyone as neighbours. And then I would develop a cold, cynical heart and would need to be pitied more than any street beggar.
Everyone is my neighbour. There's no option not to help those in need.
On a connected note, there are some links on this blog to organisations who are being great neighbours and living out daily the parable of the good samaritan. I urge you to check them out, maybe there's something you can do today to help them change some lives.
It's also a term I had forgotten about until an experience last Monday night where I undertook an unscheduled refresher course.
I was outside the Southampton Guildhall waiting for the doors to open at the Arctic Monkeys gig I was attending. Being sat down made me a target for a guy who shuffled up to me and asked me if I knew was diabetes was.
Upon hearing my positive affirmation, that yes, I did indeed know what diabetes is, the man pulled out a needle box and began to explain that he had to get home as he had argued with his girlfriend and needed to get home to get the required medication. This was where I came in, as the man was requiring my loose change in order to get the bus home and safely get some medication on board.
I backwards bartered with him, providing the £3 required for the bus fare rather than the £1.50 he was prepared to compromise and ask me for. There followed what appeared to be a look of genuine disbelief that he had found someone prepared to help.
So, for about another ten minutes I felt relatively satisfied and mused on the possibility that this act of grace would somehow start this guy on a journey that would lead him to know the author of grace himself.
And then I saw him again.
This time he was talking to some other people in the queue. The needle box was not being employed this time but change was still being handed across by well meaning gig goers.
I looked at him, determined to engage eye contact and make him aware that I knew I had been lied to.
Eye contact was made, he pulled his hat down over his eyes and shuffled off in a different direction.
And that was when I took the refresher course in neighbour-ology.
Martin Luther King Jr once said of the good Samaritan story, two people walked past the injured man and asked 'what will happen to me if I help', whereas the good Samaritan asked 'what will happen to this man if I don't help'.
I'd got that bit right I think. That if I was being told the truth, there was no option but to help.
But my involvement is simply to extend grace to those who are in need. If they then choose to abuse that, I cannot complain. As pointing the finger quickly points three right back at me as a reminder of how often I abuse the grace of God that has been extended to me by not living in gratitude every moment because of that gift.
The temptation is to become cynical and to start to analyse people asking for help. I can start to judge who I deem worthy of help and minimise the risk of my generosity being abused.
Or I can learn from the concept of neighbour-ology as outlined by Jesus' parable. Everyone is my neighbour. It is not an option to chose who will be my neighbour.
Everyone is.
Everyone.
So, the chances are I'll give again to someone who comes up to me with a need and asks me for money to help them. And no doubt again I'll have further experiences where that help is then treated with disdain. But the alternative is that I live for myself only, refusing to see anyone as neighbours. And then I would develop a cold, cynical heart and would need to be pitied more than any street beggar.
Everyone is my neighbour. There's no option not to help those in need.
On a connected note, there are some links on this blog to organisations who are being great neighbours and living out daily the parable of the good samaritan. I urge you to check them out, maybe there's something you can do today to help them change some lives.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
How Things Really Are
I'm convinced that the mirror in Rachel's bathroom hates me with a passion.
You see, when I am at my flat, I am used to the way I appear when I stand before it in the morning whilst I get ready for the day.
And yet when I am visiting Rachel in Bristol, as I am this weekend, I am constantly shocked by the way I look in a different mirror.
This other mirror has clearly not been in discussion with the mirror at my flat.
The mirror at Rachel's is more than happy to mercilessly expose the growing number of grey hairs emerging at the side of my head. It makes my skin look rubbish and my eyes even puffier and bag ridden than I had expected.
It's not always a pleasant experience to be shocked into seeing yourself as how you really look, especially when you have a perception of how you look to others. But it is necessary.
As well as the physical rude awakening yesterday, I had the same experience spiritually at the Good Friday service I went to.
I saw myself spiritually as I really am.
Ugly.
That no amount of hours invested in church related service can change that. Years of theological study cannot change that. Pretending to know and do the right thing cannot change that.
The only possible way that I have any hope of being changed from my spiritual ugliness is through what Jesus accomplished on the cross.
And I'll be forever grateful that He went through what He did.
For my sake.
And yours.
You see, when I am at my flat, I am used to the way I appear when I stand before it in the morning whilst I get ready for the day.
And yet when I am visiting Rachel in Bristol, as I am this weekend, I am constantly shocked by the way I look in a different mirror.
This other mirror has clearly not been in discussion with the mirror at my flat.
The mirror at Rachel's is more than happy to mercilessly expose the growing number of grey hairs emerging at the side of my head. It makes my skin look rubbish and my eyes even puffier and bag ridden than I had expected.
It's not always a pleasant experience to be shocked into seeing yourself as how you really look, especially when you have a perception of how you look to others. But it is necessary.
As well as the physical rude awakening yesterday, I had the same experience spiritually at the Good Friday service I went to.
I saw myself spiritually as I really am.
Ugly.
That no amount of hours invested in church related service can change that. Years of theological study cannot change that. Pretending to know and do the right thing cannot change that.
The only possible way that I have any hope of being changed from my spiritual ugliness is through what Jesus accomplished on the cross.
And I'll be forever grateful that He went through what He did.
For my sake.
And yours.
More Writing About Not Writing
I was engaging in what could loosely be described as 'research' yesterday and ended up on a random blog where I located the following sentence:
'I'd like to be a writer, but then I go weeks without writing anything. And I think that I like the idea of being a writer more than I like writing'.
I smiled as I read that.
Mainly because it seems like a sentence that could also apply to me. I wondered that despite the explosion of blogging and people being able to freely publish their own work over the internet and dream that they would be able to do this for a living, how many are actually serious about putting the effort in. Or how many, like me, can manage to work a full day and still be motivated to sit in front of a computer screen after they get home from sitting in front of a computer screen all day.
But, to give an update on the imaginary book that I got so excited about writing in a previous book. I came up with some chapter titles, and a theme for each. And then scrapped them because they were rubbish.
So I'm back to square one.
But then, as my friend Tim used to tell me, everytime you throw something you have made away, you get closer to what you really want to create, even if you don't feel like you are making any progress.
'I'd like to be a writer, but then I go weeks without writing anything. And I think that I like the idea of being a writer more than I like writing'.
I smiled as I read that.
Mainly because it seems like a sentence that could also apply to me. I wondered that despite the explosion of blogging and people being able to freely publish their own work over the internet and dream that they would be able to do this for a living, how many are actually serious about putting the effort in. Or how many, like me, can manage to work a full day and still be motivated to sit in front of a computer screen after they get home from sitting in front of a computer screen all day.
But, to give an update on the imaginary book that I got so excited about writing in a previous book. I came up with some chapter titles, and a theme for each. And then scrapped them because they were rubbish.
So I'm back to square one.
But then, as my friend Tim used to tell me, everytime you throw something you have made away, you get closer to what you really want to create, even if you don't feel like you are making any progress.
Monday, March 26, 2007
The Years Go By
I know it has been a long while since I last posted anything of any substance on this blog. A poor effort for a site that is supposed to keep people up to date with things I have been pondering on.
Further to my post about the power of words, I've been slightly worried about posting things for the sake of posting. As a result, I've ended up not posting anything.
But I wanted to share with you a bizarre experience that happened to me last week. I opened a book and out dropped a letter from my friend Louise dated 30th June 1997.
What struck me was how relevant much of the content was, and how relevant to me right now some of the content was. Now, I'm no stranger to the concept of letters written to a specific moment having relevance to me today. After all, much of the New Testament is made up of letters written to a certain group of people which because of their inspired status, are also able to have a relevance far beyond their original intended readership.
But you don't expect similar things to happen in letters from friends.
Case in point being the following sentence:
'Oh, by the way, keep your ears, eyes and heart open to God. Get ready to write.'
So, written ages before blogs were even invented, a throwaway, by the way type sentence written nearly ten years ago has been reminding me of two things.
Firstly, the writing comes as a second to the openness before God.
After the openness comes the readiness to write and then pass on the good that has come from having ears, eyes and heart open before God.
It seems that over the post month one, other or both of these elements have been missing.
Hopefully I've got the point Louise was trying to make to me ten years ago. I would hate to have to learn this lesson each decade.
Which should mean I'm start to change as I have my ears, eyes and heart more open to God.
And that should mean I start posting more often again.
Further to my post about the power of words, I've been slightly worried about posting things for the sake of posting. As a result, I've ended up not posting anything.
But I wanted to share with you a bizarre experience that happened to me last week. I opened a book and out dropped a letter from my friend Louise dated 30th June 1997.
What struck me was how relevant much of the content was, and how relevant to me right now some of the content was. Now, I'm no stranger to the concept of letters written to a specific moment having relevance to me today. After all, much of the New Testament is made up of letters written to a certain group of people which because of their inspired status, are also able to have a relevance far beyond their original intended readership.
But you don't expect similar things to happen in letters from friends.
Case in point being the following sentence:
'Oh, by the way, keep your ears, eyes and heart open to God. Get ready to write.'
So, written ages before blogs were even invented, a throwaway, by the way type sentence written nearly ten years ago has been reminding me of two things.
Firstly, the writing comes as a second to the openness before God.
After the openness comes the readiness to write and then pass on the good that has come from having ears, eyes and heart open before God.
It seems that over the post month one, other or both of these elements have been missing.
Hopefully I've got the point Louise was trying to make to me ten years ago. I would hate to have to learn this lesson each decade.
Which should mean I'm start to change as I have my ears, eyes and heart more open to God.
And that should mean I start posting more often again.
Friday, February 23, 2007
What's Next...
My friend Vicky has recently started her own blog. She's a quality person and has a lot of good things to say, so am looking forward to seeing what kind of stuff she comes up with on her page.
As I was at a loose end this afternoon, I came up with the relatively geeky concept of seeing exactly how many clicks it would need on the 'next blog' icon at the top left hand of the blogger page before I got linked onto Vicky's blog.
It sounded like a fun game in theory, but after about ten minutes I was bored and had been to the blogs of many, many people. Blogs about business, about their children, their sporting prowess, their failures, some stuff in Chinese I didn't understand, some weird photos of cats in funny outfits and some commenting on the news stories of the week.
What I learnt was that there are lot of blogs out there that you could be reading.
But you are reading this one rather than looking at ones with weird photos on, and I just want to say thank you.
It's humbling to know there's a lot of competition for your attention out there, and to send out some thanks for spending a few minutes in my world.
I've just sent Vicky a text message to ask if she doesn't mind having her blog linked from this site. Until then, you'll have to keep using the next blog button.
But remember I cannot be held responsible for what you may find on your journey into the depths of the weird, wacky and wonderful world of weblogs.
As I was at a loose end this afternoon, I came up with the relatively geeky concept of seeing exactly how many clicks it would need on the 'next blog' icon at the top left hand of the blogger page before I got linked onto Vicky's blog.
It sounded like a fun game in theory, but after about ten minutes I was bored and had been to the blogs of many, many people. Blogs about business, about their children, their sporting prowess, their failures, some stuff in Chinese I didn't understand, some weird photos of cats in funny outfits and some commenting on the news stories of the week.
What I learnt was that there are lot of blogs out there that you could be reading.
But you are reading this one rather than looking at ones with weird photos on, and I just want to say thank you.
It's humbling to know there's a lot of competition for your attention out there, and to send out some thanks for spending a few minutes in my world.
I've just sent Vicky a text message to ask if she doesn't mind having her blog linked from this site. Until then, you'll have to keep using the next blog button.
But remember I cannot be held responsible for what you may find on your journey into the depths of the weird, wacky and wonderful world of weblogs.
Potential Breakthroughs And Film Recommendations
I went on a course last year through work where I was encouraged into taking steps to fulfilling the dreams that would make you feel alive. One of the things that I mentioned was the enjoyment I get from writing. The concept of me writing a book was mooted about with the facilitators of the course, so I purchased a blank notebook from Paperchase.
Apart from the NASA-like title of 'Project One' on the inside cover, the notebook has remained blank since November. But I think I've finally got an idea that I'm interested in enough to dedicate time and energy researching, as well as thinking about wanting more than a couple of people to read. It might end up a book, it might be an article. But I want to do it, and it's the motivational battle I've lost frequently since November.
So now I have the motivation, I just need some creative genius from somewhere to get it all together.
Speaking of creative genius, those of you stuck for something to do this weekend, go and see Hot Fuzz. It's great and I haven't laughed so much in a long time.
Apart from the NASA-like title of 'Project One' on the inside cover, the notebook has remained blank since November. But I think I've finally got an idea that I'm interested in enough to dedicate time and energy researching, as well as thinking about wanting more than a couple of people to read. It might end up a book, it might be an article. But I want to do it, and it's the motivational battle I've lost frequently since November.
So now I have the motivation, I just need some creative genius from somewhere to get it all together.
Speaking of creative genius, those of you stuck for something to do this weekend, go and see Hot Fuzz. It's great and I haven't laughed so much in a long time.
On Speaking, Listening And Being Angry
We're nearly a month down the line from my last post, so feel it appropriate that there should be an apology to my select readership about the delay in posting anything new.
I have been busy running around here, there and everywhere as usual, but have also been revisiting the topic for my BA dissertation in my Bible study over the last few days. My topic intended to look at the media and see whether it could relate to the New Testament book of James and the challenge to be wary of the power of our words. I'm not going to post any of that dissertation here, so don't worry. It was soundly panned, so no need to inflict it on a wider audience than has already been exposed to it.
But over past days I have been pondering again on the challenge in James 1:19 to be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry.
I don't just want to add more words to the internet just for the sake of being able to do so. Hence the slow to speak and slow to blog for the month of February.
The second part of the challenge is to be quick to listen. I've made it my business to listen a lot this month. I have heard a lot. Problems from colleagues. Disappointment towards me from other Christians. Friends who are over the moon. Friends who feel they are facing down into an abyss.
The point I've realised in amongst all the words I have heard is that all of them have have a profound impact on my month, and in some cases, my life as a whole.
Having realised afresh the power of the words of others, I've been more determined to be slow to speak and appreciate the power of my words on others.
For me, this stems from a paranoia that I have nothing of any benefit to say to those who look to me for words. My team, the young people I work with, my church, my family, my friends all look to me for words. Yet for all my worries that I've got no idea of the right thing to do or say, I never stop to say 'I don't know'. Which would be preferable to saying some words to fill a silence and actually then finding that those careless words have had an impact far beyond their original intention and made something worse.
It's a tough challenge. I spent a year living with these speech ethics in James running around my head for the disseration, and I still feel I've not got them sorted out, five years down the line.
I hope it doesn't take another five years to realise I should be faster to listen than I am to respond with words.
And I know what you are thinking. He's not addressed the third part of the challenge, about being slow to become angry.
I'll get round to that as soon as I have mused on it some more.
But don't push me on it. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
I have been busy running around here, there and everywhere as usual, but have also been revisiting the topic for my BA dissertation in my Bible study over the last few days. My topic intended to look at the media and see whether it could relate to the New Testament book of James and the challenge to be wary of the power of our words. I'm not going to post any of that dissertation here, so don't worry. It was soundly panned, so no need to inflict it on a wider audience than has already been exposed to it.
But over past days I have been pondering again on the challenge in James 1:19 to be slow to speak, quick to listen and slow to become angry.
I don't just want to add more words to the internet just for the sake of being able to do so. Hence the slow to speak and slow to blog for the month of February.
The second part of the challenge is to be quick to listen. I've made it my business to listen a lot this month. I have heard a lot. Problems from colleagues. Disappointment towards me from other Christians. Friends who are over the moon. Friends who feel they are facing down into an abyss.
The point I've realised in amongst all the words I have heard is that all of them have have a profound impact on my month, and in some cases, my life as a whole.
Having realised afresh the power of the words of others, I've been more determined to be slow to speak and appreciate the power of my words on others.
For me, this stems from a paranoia that I have nothing of any benefit to say to those who look to me for words. My team, the young people I work with, my church, my family, my friends all look to me for words. Yet for all my worries that I've got no idea of the right thing to do or say, I never stop to say 'I don't know'. Which would be preferable to saying some words to fill a silence and actually then finding that those careless words have had an impact far beyond their original intention and made something worse.
It's a tough challenge. I spent a year living with these speech ethics in James running around my head for the disseration, and I still feel I've not got them sorted out, five years down the line.
I hope it doesn't take another five years to realise I should be faster to listen than I am to respond with words.
And I know what you are thinking. He's not addressed the third part of the challenge, about being slow to become angry.
I'll get round to that as soon as I have mused on it some more.
But don't push me on it. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
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